As
professionals, we love adding things to our credentials: awards we’ve won;
titles we’ve earned; honors our organizations received; personal and
organizational appearances in newspapers, magazines, conference programs, and
Twitter feeds. Sometimes we get so
caught up in our achievements and our expertise that we lose focus when we
write.
Have
you ever received a direct mail letter that contained more paragraphs beginning
with the word “I” or “we” than not? Have
you ever written one like that?
Your
customers, members, donors, and prospects need
to hear what makes you qualified to solve their problems, but what they want to hear is how you’re going to do
it. They want to know what you can do
for them, how long it will take, and how much it will cost. The fact that Washingtonian magazine named your organization one of the “best of”
in the areas will give your audience more confidence in you, but it won’t keep
them glued to your promotion.
How
can you be sure you don’t toot your own horn too loudly? Take a close look at your copy. Circle every word that refers to your
organization, whether it’s your organization’s name, “our company,” “We,” “I,”
etc. Now circle every “you” and “your”
in the copy. If “we” outnumbers “you,”
try rewriting the text with your target audience’s interest, not your own
self-promotion, in mind. The more you
can put yourself in your market’s shoes, the sweeter your music will sound.
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